Understanding and Breaking Patterns: The Science of Changing Behaviour

When we find ourselves stuck in repetitive behaviors—whether it’s procrastination, avoidance, binge-eating, or self-criticism—our instinct is often to ask, “Why do I keep doing this?” and immediately search for solutions. However, sustainable change requires more than just willpower or quick fixes. Before we can intervene effectively, we must deeply understand the pattern itself—its components, its purpose, and how it sustains itself over time.

The Functional Perspective: What Does the Behavior Achieve?

From a functional (behavioral) analysis perspective, every behavior serves a function—it accomplishes something, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes, behaviors help us avoid discomfort, gain a sense of control, or provide momentary relief from distress. The key is to break the pattern down into its elements, much like deconstructing a complex fraction in mathematics. By doing so, we identify multiple potential intervention points rather than just targeting the behavior itself.

A structured way to analyze these patterns is using ABC Analysis, which examines:

• Antecedents (what happens inside us before the behavior – a combination of our attention, thinking, imagery, emotions, urges and bodily sensations)

• Behaviors (the specific action/s we take – this may also include what we chose to not ‘do’)

• Consequences (what happens afterward which reinforces the cycle – this includes both short-term positive and longer-term negative)

By mapping out these elements, we see how patterns are maintained and where we can apply targeted skills for change.

Deconstructing Patterns Using ABC Analysis

Below is an example framework for gathering information that illustrates how different behaviors function within cycles and where interventions may be possible, using the example of anxiety in social situations:

Moving From Insight to Action

Real change begins when we systematically identify intervention points and match them with the right skills. Without a nuanced understanding of the patterns we can engage in, we risk ineffective or premature interventions. For instance, simply telling someone with social anxiety to “just be more confident” ignores the chain of reinforcing factors that keep them stuck in the cycle in the first place. 

Intervening: Skills Depend on the Specific Element

Once we’ve broken down the specific elements of a pattern of events in a given Chain, we can determine what skills are needed based on the element in the above table:

• If the trigger is anxiety-provoking thoughts, imagery, or predictions → Cognitive Defusion Skills (aka ‘unhooking skills’) from Mindfulness and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (or challenging unhelpful thinking eg ‘cognitive restructuring’ from CBT) may be helpful. Similarly, engaging in ‘behavioural experiments’ where you write down all that your mind predicts, and then go and ‘do the thing’. Then you return and write next to this ‘what actually happened’ (when repeated for several activities, you will build up a database of just how wrong / unhelpful our predictions can be). This can form part of an exposure therapy approach. 

• If the emotion feels overwhelming → Self-Regulation and skills aimed at increasing our Window of Tolerance (Distress Tolerance Skills, Soothing Breathing, Grounding Techniques, Urge Surfing, Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Skills).

• If the behavior is avoidance → Exposure techniques (gradual participation, practicing discomfort-tolerance aka ‘Urge Surfing’). 
  
   

Key Takeaways

1. Understanding precedes intervention—you can’t fix what you don’t fully comprehend.

2. Every behavior serves a function—even harmful ones meet a need, which is why they persist.

3. Breaking patterns requires deconstructing them—antecedents, behaviors, and consequences all matter.

4. Skills must be targeted to the specific cycle element—the right intervention depends on the pattern’s structure.

By shifting our approach from “Why do I keep doing this?” to “What function does this behavior serve, and where can I intervene?”, we move from frustration to empowerment. Understanding is the first and most crucial step in breaking free from self-sustaining cycles.

Advanced Skills & When to Seek Support

Some patterns are deeply ingrained and physiologically overwhelming, requiring a combination of advanced skills. These include defusion (separating from unhelpful thoughts), values clarification (being clear on what we truly want), and urge-surfing (tolerating discomfort long enough to respond differently). Additionally, self-compassion is crucial—allowing ourselves to ‘be with’ our natural reactions without self-criticism, which can otherwise start a new cycle of negative reinforcement. Ultimately, we need to work within our physiological window of tolerance—where our skill level matches the challenge, enabling us to remain well-regulated rather than overwhelmed.

In some cases, our responses may feel so overpowering that breaking patterns alone becomes particularly difficult—or even impossible. This can be due to unresolved trauma, which leaves lasting effects on the nervous system, making self-directed change challenging. In such instances, seeking professional support can be a vital step in moving forward. Therapists trained in trauma-informed approaches (such as EMDR Therapy) can provide the guidance needed to navigate these patterns safely and effectively.

Further Resources: 

• Your brain’s 3 Emotion Regulation Systems
• Understanding your Window of Tolerance
• How Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) impact on attachment, brain development and later lifestyle and health risk factors
• How childhood attachment experiences affect you and your relationships
• Getting Past Your Past with EMDR Therapy
• How you can get the most out of therapy
• A list of all articles that I have written